1:45 a.m.
I think for me, I am like this high end camera, an Arri Alexa 65 LF, I pick up huge amounts.
It's the reason I crash and overheat.
Yesterday, I was watching Sing 2 and also Soul. I listen, I look, I think, I remember everything.
It's extremely taxing.
It's being mindful, as Buddha taught.
So, now, when i was looking at this.
She, says, that she wants to help you forget about "Lisa", and I immediately remembered, "Lisa" from the Soul movie, when Jamie Foxx, has her number saved in his phone secretly, which he didn't want 22 to find out or talk about.
In the same exact way, remember stuff I see, or hear, or write, and think or feel, or smell, I write it all down to help to process it.
It relieves a lot of stress to write things down.
I honestly, feel strongly, that Jonathan Hirshon is the ONLY person I feel safe with anymore, because he is also very open on Facebook.
I feel like he's got nothing to hide.
I know that some of the things I write are not very nice, i would not label it a personal idiosyncrasy, I do it because it's entertaining. I like it.
It's like Game of Thrones, Apprentice. I do it purposefully, it's done to make it all work.
When I write my script, it consumes a lot of energy, as it's never a lecture or some kind of presentation. It's true some information, I have recently added as a new component, is high on exposition/ explanation, but even this, it has all been converted.
This process of creatively converting content, the rendering process, is very, very emotionally and mentally taxing because it has to be perfect.
It might be why there's been a lot of added stress. Even this, I mean, it is not that bad.
These are just my journal entries.
I believe, if I am not wrong, I am the very first person in the world to do this.
That's the kind of world I want to live in. I want there to be no more lies, no more hiding, to be able to read people's diaries live, as they are written.
i know, that's the end world I want, I am working my way backwards to make it happen.
