12:45 a.m.
I was watching The Crown S03 E07. I stopped, I will watch it later, maybe tomorrow.
It is starting off with the US moon landing. It is something that really turned my world upside down. To think we, mankind got on the moon. It shook me. It made me think anything is suddenly possible.
As long as you can dream, you can inspire people and a team, you can come up with a plan, if you can keep trying, keep working hard, you can also do anything.
I was a small kid, I was depressed, unhappy my abusive father died, my incapable mother lost our money, my family screwed up, I hated school, I was miserable, but here I was, on YouTube, ██████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████ and seeing JFK give his speech, daring to get on the moon....
It is intoxicating. It is what makes me feel "alive". Living on the edge, being straight with people, questioning things, finding 'new' things, it is what makes me feel happy, alive and excited.
Looking at that, looking at that moment, we got on the moon, and obviously, I look at the moon now, and I think instead, oh boy, Buzz Aldrin, a fellow Freemason, he got up there. It is refreshing. It is energy for me. To know "we" got up there. It is what makes me feel safe too.
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