Waking nightmares
Flashbacks, disrupted sleep, low weight, fear, and periods of severe mental strain shape the year. Some days are spent pursuing major business plans; others are spent rebuilding enough stability to continue.
How I Survived My Waking Nightmares
No reviews yetThe world locked down. His mind never did.
In 2020, Lehan Edirisinghe was living with flashbacks, medication, family pressure, disrupted sleep, and fear. At the same time, he was trying to turn Cyberspace Command into a real company.
Across 416,964 words, Flashbacks preserves the year exactly as it happened: the crises, business plans, political arguments, family conflict, ordinary pleasures, and repeated decision to continue.
Read the year a founder tried to build a company while surviving his own mind.
2020 is more than a lockdown diary. It is the year Lehan tries to build Cyberspace Command while his health, family life, beliefs, and sense of safety repeatedly destabilize around him. The record moves between enormous plans and intensely private moments without cleaning up the contradictions afterward.
Flashbacks, disrupted sleep, low weight, fear, and periods of severe mental strain shape the year. Some days are spent pursuing major business plans; others are spent rebuilding enough stability to continue.
Lehan recruits people, pursues banking and cybersecurity deals, approaches investors, redesigns the company, and considers expansion into the United States and Singapore. The ambition reaches far beyond the company’s early resources, forcing constant reinvention.
Covid moves from distant news to a force closing borders, businesses, and ordinary life. Confinement intensifies family pressure and removes many of the remaining ways to escape the private crisis inside the house.
His mother, relatives, money, control, dependence, and unresolved family history repeatedly enter the record. Memories of his father return through songs, watches, places, family stories, and lingering questions about his death.
Trump, Sri Lanka, Iran, China, religion, race, war, policing, and power are argued over as events unfold. The diary preserves conviction, argument, reconsideration, and changing judgments without pretending the year arrived with finished answers.
Food, films, music, television, desire, habits, jokes, games, dreams, and business ideas continue beside the struggle to survive. These ordinary pleasures and distractions prevent the book from becoming only a record of illness or crisis.
Because it was written before survival was secure.
It is not a polished memoir, a business guide, or a retrospective victory speech. It is the raw daily record of a founder under pressure trying to impose order on the year—and build something larger than the life around him.
The documentation habit that runs through these pages later helps shape AngryPages. In 2020, the company being built is Cyberspace Command.
Flashbacks
Read the complete record of 2020.
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