I think the way I am, without them, is very telling. I am like totally dead. It's creepy. I am like a lifeless corpse. So negative like I used to be, towards the later parts of my high school. I hated it back then.
I never got antidepressants till I went to Singapore in 2012. The local doctors and the people weren't able to treat me. So I have very painful psychological wounds regarding SL, which I keep close to my vest.
My sheer distrust, is a survival complex, and it is not really possible to put my guard down. It means to die. Or get murdered.
I didn't like my family, early. I want, nothing to do with them. And it's easier for me, to curse, and reduce people down to a few judged sentences, and perhaps a word, or a nickname, and move forward.
As it's how I process people or things in my life. I index people. So it's easier for me.
I feel like these must be withdrawal symptoms, and then, the body is like, aching for that chemical dependency, 60mg of mirtazapine.
Mentally, it's different, from psychiatrically. Mentally is close. There's no real, word, for like "mind". I think I can sharply tell. I can cut through it. I can see. But the body and brain are depressed. And it's like you see things with sunglasses on. In 5 days, I'd likely recover, but be depressed, untreated.
I'm happy I set up shop in Cali. We need a few American partners. Besides Venura. I think he is not someone I can trust. He tells me to call him, he dodges calls for 2 days when I keep my promise. And he's supposed to get stock, bank authority and codestack to handle? I think many will accept, but it's hard for me.
It's best to end those, tactfully, or give them something useful, they can handle on their own time, fitting their mood, or the people they have to cater to, who most likely don't like me, like him, although I honestly, don't want to know.
There's 330m people there.
And 1 Trump. Who is.. well.. the only one person who matters in the USA.