Wed 3 May
10:45 a.m.
It's sad, but also good to see protests in America because we need to end injustice. I can't stand some of those people the white cops killed. I just wish they didn't murder them. They should all watch that movie American History X.
11:00 a.m.
I made myself Nestomalt, I put in 5 heaping teaspoons. I love it. It's like Horlicks. ███████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████
2:15 p.m.
I'm like 45 kg, but I'll be okay. I'm just 26. I think Jared Kushner is 39 or something, he's lean. He's a cool guy. I'll probably be okay. Charith Seneviratne used to be 42 kg, when he was 20-21 years old. He's 70 something now.
I used to be 40kg, but I took ████████████████████████████████████████████ to get up to 45kg. It was the only thing that worked. I'll probably have to stop skipping meals. I skip meals every day. I often skip breakfast 5 times a week.
I'll probably pay someone, medically trained, to force feed me every 3 hours about 400 calories. So, 8 x 400 is like 3,200 calories. I must be getting 1,500 calories a day or less. I'll probably get paid people to make sure I eat, without excuses, the problem is me.
I don't want to end up a fat f***. So, I'll probably just stay at around 60 kg or 65 like James ████. I don't want to be a fat f***. I want to look good in a suit. Please G-d, don't let me end up a fat f***. Oh no, no way, not that.
I dunno. Maybe I'll use the dangerous psychiatric drugs that Dr Friedman refused, but Dr Joshua Kua said was okay at 2.5mg every other day. I pumped it up to 5mg every day. I only got up to 45kg. I used 10 or 20mg once, and got up to 55kg.
Sadly, I got salmonella para typhoid and lost around 10 kg. I hate Sri Lankan food. I'll need to set up a barbecue restaurant and brew beer for my own supply and personal demand. I'll gain weight to like 65ish. I think 70 plus, and you're a fat f***. 60 is perfect.
2:30 p.m.
The truth is I'm unhealthy. I need to change. Being severely underweight is a health problem. I think with complex PTSD you have eating disorders like punitive resistance to eating in my case. I'll need to pay people $1,000/month or Rs 185,000/month to always monitor me and make sure I eat.
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5:45 p.m.
I only hate the annoying people in any group. There's pieces of s*** in every group.
11:15 p.m.
So sleepy.
Tap on my window, knock on my door:
